Thursday, May 26, 2011

Life, thoughts, time.

Olivia slept without being swaddled for the first time last night.  When I woke up, I spotted her like this.  I don't know if it was because she was dressed classically in footie Disney pajamas that I adore, or because she bares a striking resemblance to her older brother...  But I suddenly flashed back to when Gavyn was that age, wearing yellow and blue Winnie the Pooh footie pajamas, sleeping peacefully, so tiny.  And then I flashed forward to imagining Olivia being four already, and seeing all of these stages fly by.  I can't believe he's four.  I can't believe she's already one day shy of four months old.  I can't believe that in four years I'm going to be saying the same thing about Olivia as I now am about Gavyn (and I'll be adding that Gavyn will then be EIGHT)...  Time goes by so fast.  I get so caught up in thinking about the future and how when I'm finished with school and we're more financially stable things will be "easier."  We have it so instilled in our brains that there will be a day and a time that things will suddenly get easier and all will be well.  The only time that I can think ahead to where daily stresses will be easier is when I'm retired, and then I will face even more stress probably as a result of health-related issues.  Sometimes I have my mind racing so far into the future that I forget to enjoy what's happening right now.  Life isn't always easy, but you still have to make the most of it and enjoy it for what it is because you only get one.  This sudden realization is going to take some time to work its way into my daily life, and it will take some time for me to fully digest...  But I think I'm going to print this post and put it somewhere where I can read it often when my mind starts racing so that I can stop and focus on what's going on now.  Sometimes people are going to cut you in line, or your check engine light is going to turn on, or you’re going to run late to work because of traffic, or whatever the case may be…  And then it’s suddenly FML.  No, not FYL.  Sometimes shit happens.  And maybe that’s just a part of life, the big picture, the grand scheme of things.  You can’t let little things, daily annoyances, or even big things ruin it for you.  So stop FMLing, get off the computer, stop texting on your phone, stop caring what your friends ate for breakfast, stop paying so much attention to insignificant details, and go bungee-jumping or something.  I don't really care if this came from out of nowhere or if you have no idea what I'm talking about.  Apparently you just haven't been enlightened or inspired yet.

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